Chapter 3: understanding emotional intelligence

• cybersites that people can join to 'talk' in real time: chat rooms
• delayed gratification: made famous by the Marshmallow study

• Reduce your stress:

make enough time to study if you have multiple tests in a day
talk to professors about expectations
look at the syllabus!!
time management
calender/to-do list
prioritize

• emotions are strongly tied to physical & psychological well-being
• Emotional intelligence: ability to recognize, understand, use, & manage moods, feelings, & attitudes

helps you respond appropriately to a situation
able to cope w life's pressures & demands
understanding emotions--> monitor & label feelings accurately, determine why you feel that way
predicting how others might feel in a situation
managing emotions
sometimes good to stay open to feelings, sometimes good to disengage from them & return to it later
emotionally intelligent students get higher grades
students who can't manage emotions struggle academically

• Steps toward improving EI (emotional intelligence):

1. identify strengths & weaknesses
2. set realistic goals
3. formulate plan
4. check progress on a regular basis

why should you improve your EI? it helps you reach your academic potential

• Competencies:

 intrapersonal skills:
-emotional self-awareness: knowing how/why you feel the way you do
-assertiveness: standing up for self w/o being too aggressive
-independence: decisions on your own w/o having to get everyone's opinion
-self-regard: liking yourself in spite of flaws
-self-actualization: satisfied & comfortable w what you have achieved
 interpersonal skills:
-empathy: effort to understand another person's point of view
-social responsibility: establishing personal link w group/community & cooperating, working toward shared goal
-interpersonal relationships: seek out healthy & mutually beneficial relationships & maintain them
adaptability: 
-reality testing: checking feelings to see if they're appropriate
-flexibility: adapt & adjust feelings, viewpoints, and actions as situations change
-problem solving: approach challenges step by step, not giving up at obstacles
stress management:
-stress tolerance: recognizing causes of stress, responding appropriately, stay strong under pressure
-impulse control: think carefully about consequences before acting, delay gratification to achieve long-term goals
general mood & effective performance:
-optimism: "bright side", be confident that things will work out for the best
-happiness: satisfied w yourself