Tuesday, December 31, 2019
365/365
if every day were a page in a 365 page book, we're finally on the last page. tomorrow is a whole new year & a start of a new decade.
sometimes i forget how fast time passes. when the "start vs. end of the decade" trend popped up on twitter, i realized how long a decade truly was & how so much can change in 10 years. but a lot can change in just one year, one month, one week, & even one day. i guess every moment does count bc every moment brings you to where you are right now.
at the beginning of 2019, i didn't do resolutions bc those are usually bound to fail (at least in my case). i had some little goals, like "be kinder", "drink more water", etc. to try to better myself a little bit more every day. it's not like EVERY DAY i got better or even remembered these things but if i look at the year overall, i do think that i have tried to push myself to be a better version of myself & that's more important than any resolution. i think trying a little bit each day to better ourselves is what most of us are trying to do.
in this new year, i'm still going to try to work on the same things & keep trying to be better. i'm also going to try to figure out who the "best version of myself" really is. i'm going to try new things, put myself out there more, say yes to more. throughout the last few months, i have been trying these things & trying to be happy. & i HAVE been happier w myself.
the past year was a whirlwind of change, new things, & new adventures. i went to TFTI & FOMO (interactive photo experiences). i took silkscreen & pulls my own prints for the first time. i went to a Chelsea Cutler concert (my first ever real concert). i went to the van gogh art exhibit. i went to Austin & jumped off rocks at Mckinney Falls State Park (something i would never usually do). i went to California (& Disneyland!!!) & was gifted an ipad so i could finally draw digitally. i started my first semester in the graphic design program at UH & had a portfolio review/open studio event. in TNTT, i started the year teaching TN kids & eventually was moved to teaching NS so i went to cap II NS camp. i went to Lousiana to visit my brother. i had relationship changes & work changes. i went to New York for the first time ever & tried soup dumplings for the first time there too. & so much more happened throughout the year & everything already feels like forever ago.
but here's to a new year of even more adventures & new experiences in 2020.
sometimes i forget how fast time passes. when the "start vs. end of the decade" trend popped up on twitter, i realized how long a decade truly was & how so much can change in 10 years. but a lot can change in just one year, one month, one week, & even one day. i guess every moment does count bc every moment brings you to where you are right now.
at the beginning of 2019, i didn't do resolutions bc those are usually bound to fail (at least in my case). i had some little goals, like "be kinder", "drink more water", etc. to try to better myself a little bit more every day. it's not like EVERY DAY i got better or even remembered these things but if i look at the year overall, i do think that i have tried to push myself to be a better version of myself & that's more important than any resolution. i think trying a little bit each day to better ourselves is what most of us are trying to do.
in this new year, i'm still going to try to work on the same things & keep trying to be better. i'm also going to try to figure out who the "best version of myself" really is. i'm going to try new things, put myself out there more, say yes to more. throughout the last few months, i have been trying these things & trying to be happy. & i HAVE been happier w myself.
the past year was a whirlwind of change, new things, & new adventures. i went to TFTI & FOMO (interactive photo experiences). i took silkscreen & pulls my own prints for the first time. i went to a Chelsea Cutler concert (my first ever real concert). i went to the van gogh art exhibit. i went to Austin & jumped off rocks at Mckinney Falls State Park (something i would never usually do). i went to California (& Disneyland!!!) & was gifted an ipad so i could finally draw digitally. i started my first semester in the graphic design program at UH & had a portfolio review/open studio event. in TNTT, i started the year teaching TN kids & eventually was moved to teaching NS so i went to cap II NS camp. i went to Lousiana to visit my brother. i had relationship changes & work changes. i went to New York for the first time ever & tried soup dumplings for the first time there too. & so much more happened throughout the year & everything already feels like forever ago.
but here's to a new year of even more adventures & new experiences in 2020.
Friday, December 20, 2019
Thursday, December 19, 2019
Tuesday, December 3, 2019
i think there's always going to be a part of me that just won't let go of you
you're so magnetic, the second i get close, i get pulled in
i don't know if i'm negative or you're positive or the other way around
but our attraction is undeniable
we're polar opposites—oppositely charged but charged nonetheless
i feel the pull deep in my veins & breaking the bond is harder than anything i've ever done
you're so magnetic, the second i get close, i get pulled in
i don't know if i'm negative or you're positive or the other way around
but our attraction is undeniable
we're polar opposites—oppositely charged but charged nonetheless
i feel the pull deep in my veins & breaking the bond is harder than anything i've ever done
Tuesday, October 15, 2019
Monday, September 30, 2019
what does love look like?
it looks like a smile breaking though sad eyes & a laugh quietly crawling through closed lips. it looks like your hand in mine as we lay still in the darkness. it looks like longing gazes & a simple touch. it looks like the sun coming out after the rain.
what about what it doesn't look like?
it doesn't look like the rage in your eyes that scares me or the loneliness i feel when you won't reply. it doesn't look like you doing nothing all day long & still not having time for me. it doesn't look like me crying once again for you to just love me the way that i need you to.
it looks like a smile breaking though sad eyes & a laugh quietly crawling through closed lips. it looks like your hand in mine as we lay still in the darkness. it looks like longing gazes & a simple touch. it looks like the sun coming out after the rain.
what about what it doesn't look like?
it doesn't look like the rage in your eyes that scares me or the loneliness i feel when you won't reply. it doesn't look like you doing nothing all day long & still not having time for me. it doesn't look like me crying once again for you to just love me the way that i need you to.
Sunday, September 29, 2019
Saturday, August 17, 2019
biology is the study of life & sometimes i look back on my notes on the biology of our lives. all living things interact w other living things & i remember the moment we came into contact w one another. every cell in my body greeted you "hello." in biology, there are different names for different types of relationships. i thought we were symbiotic—can't survive w/o each other. but i found out you were just fine w/o me. we learned a little about chemistry too—about atoms & molecules, the things that make up everything that we are. there are different types of bonds—covalent & ionic. covalent is a sharing bond—sharing electrons, giving & taking together. ionic is a give & take too, but one gives, & one takes. the giver is left w one less electron, changing its structure forever. i am left w one less you, & as a result, changed forever.
Sunday, August 4, 2019
Wednesday, July 31, 2019
Wednesday, July 24, 2019
Saturday, July 20, 2019
Thursday, July 18, 2019
implosion is the process in which objects are destroyed by collapsing or being squeezed in on themselves. can a person implode? i am collapsing in on myself. i am being destroyed but it's me who's to blame. i feel like there's too much going on inside & outside of me. i'm being weighed down & yet, i feel like i'm floating away.
Tuesday, July 16, 2019
Sunday, July 7, 2019
r.i.p. cameron boyce
it's w a heavy heart (& tears in my eyes honestly) that i'm even typing this post but here we go. i know that everyone is hopping onto the "r.i.p. cameron boyce" train but honestly, when my sister came into my room this morning to tell me the news, i didn't believe it. i thought it was fake news & i checked some of his co-stars' social media to see if they posted anything about it. it was early in the morning so i thought maybe they hadn't heard yet. then i started crying just thinking about people like dove cameron, booboo stewart, sofia carson, & debbie ryan, his co-stars, having to hear the news
i remember watching an episode of Jessie one day & seeing this adorable little freckle-faced boy. i thought he was the cutest kid, so energetic & funny. he was my favorite character on the show, the handful of times that i watched it (though admittedly, i didn't watch it THAT much)
what i was more interested in was Descendants. cameron boyce played carlos, cruella de vil's son. i honestly loved the movie & the main cast so much. i'll admit, i'm a 20 something year old that watched both Descendants movies & was looking forward to the 3rd. ofc i'm still looking forward to it but w this tragic event, i honestly don't know how to feel
i haven't commented much on social media about his death bc it hurts my heart & every time i see posts or hear about it, i start tearing up. i know i never met him but honestly, he reminded me a bit of my younger brother, born in the same year (cameron just half a year older). i fell in love w his characters & his energy (& those adorable freckles). now i'm sad that i won't get to see more of that. i won't get to see more movies or shows w his acting, i won't get to see him reach his full potential (he's done great so far but i know he was going to go even further)
i gotta just wrap up this post bc there are no other words i could say to describe the loss that the world suffered today. i'm grieving along w his friends & family, knowing that he may be gone but his light could never ever be fully put out. rip angel
Saturday, June 29, 2019
Wednesday, June 26, 2019
Thursday, June 6, 2019
Friday, May 31, 2019
the sun,
oh how bright it shines,
brighter than i ever could
bigger, brighter, better
holds your attention more than i ever would
it burns so boldly, unafraid
i stay hidden in its light
i'm always there, covered by its beauty
when it's gone, you finally see me
(when she's gone, you finally see me)
i've loved the moon so much that i became it
oh how bright it shines,
brighter than i ever could
bigger, brighter, better
holds your attention more than i ever would
it burns so boldly, unafraid
i stay hidden in its light
i'm always there, covered by its beauty
when it's gone, you finally see me
(when she's gone, you finally see me)
i've loved the moon so much that i became it
Thursday, May 30, 2019
Wednesday, May 29, 2019
just a quick pop-in to let you guys know that i've edited/updated my adobe portfolio just in case anyone is here for the artwork. there's a tab on my blog called "Artwork" that'll take you to it any time, any day but click here for the link just in case you're lazy!
Tuesday, May 28, 2019
Saturday, May 25, 2019
an old piece i just re-discovered:
i won't be the victim, no
we've been at this for years now,
do you really love me?
i'll never believe you
you're starting to move on,
you're smitten by someone new
you're in love w her, me too
excuse me, i meant me 2
i am me 1 & she's me 2
i think it's quite funny
she's got the same name
she's me.2
she's the new & improved me,
she's the prettier me,
she's the better me,
the me that i couldn't be
but it's not your fault really
i would never hold you to it
we weren't meant to be,
you & me
i'm happy that you're happy
but sometimes i'm not happy
& it's hard to see you happy
but as long as you are
you don't need me to talk to anymore,
you've got a better ear
one that's there,
one that's near
that was always the problem wasn't it?
you said you'd give anything to change things
but it wouldn't have changed anything
i'm still here & you're still there
i won't be the victim, no
we've been at this for years now,
do you really love me?
i'll never believe you
you're starting to move on,
you're smitten by someone new
you're in love w her, me too
excuse me, i meant me 2
i am me 1 & she's me 2
i think it's quite funny
she's got the same name
she's me.2
she's the new & improved me,
she's the prettier me,
she's the better me,
the me that i couldn't be
but it's not your fault really
i would never hold you to it
we weren't meant to be,
you & me
i'm happy that you're happy
but sometimes i'm not happy
& it's hard to see you happy
but as long as you are
you don't need me to talk to anymore,
you've got a better ear
one that's there,
one that's near
that was always the problem wasn't it?
you said you'd give anything to change things
but it wouldn't have changed anything
i'm still here & you're still there
Saturday, May 18, 2019
Monday, May 13, 2019
Read This If: A Collection of Essays that Prove Someone Else Gets it, Too- Thought Catalog
this is a book that i read quite a while ago but i stumbled onto some of the pages that resonated w me back then, that still do even now. maybe they'll resonate w you too:
"i don't think i've experienced a single loss in my life that i've gotten over in the time frame that seems to have been allotted by society as 'acceptable'"
"it's not human nature to let go. we are, at our core, territorial creatures. we fight to hold onto what we love. giving up isn't in any way instinctual"
"you let someone go at the grocery store when their favorite type of soup is on sale and you don't buy it. you let them go again when you're cleaning your bathroom and have to throw out the bottle of body wash that smells like them... sometimes you're going to have to let one person go a thousand different times, a thousand different ways, and there's nothing pathetic or abnormal about that. you are human. and it isn't always as simple as making one decision and never looking back"
"it's okay to not be there yet. it's okay to be unsure of every step that you take forward. we don't talk about how moving on sometimes feels like we're fighting every part of our most basic instincts, but we should. we should talk about how growth is often every bit as painful as it is beautiful"
"we need to keep track of our time as it's running closer and closer to empty. we need to remember to open our hearts and our minds and our thoughts and our lives up to each other, while we still have the time left to connect. we need to stay up too late and put in too much effort and be bold enough to take all of the chances that we're terrified to take on each other. we have to remember to live every day as if the next will be our greatest goodbye, because this is the greatest gift that we can give one another. the strength to live with a wide-open heart"
"the irony of growing up is that in order to do so authentically, we have to stop trying so hard. experience comes to us most fully in the moments that we do not expect and that we deal with entirely greenly... we cannot plan for the things that truly matter"
"the world is too harsh, but also too quiet. you will hear the angry words the loudest"
Sunday, May 12, 2019
Friday, May 10, 2019
"save the turtles" isn't just about saving the turtles
we've all heard that the earth is dying in like 12 or so years (ranges, depending on your source) & everyone jokes about it but no one does anything about it. there are many little things that we can all do in order to HELP decrease the waste that we produce or lessen our carbon footprint. personally, i bought some metal/silicone straws, i try to use less plastic when possible, i try to recycle as much as i can, not waste as much water, & try to eat less meat
i'm not an "environmentalist" or a "vegan" (though props to them) but i'm trying to do at least SOMETHING. but i get laughed at for bringing out my bendy silicone straws when i go out to eat w my friends & every word i say about eating less meat goes in one ear & out the other. when i'm at church collecting the daily papers that kids leave around so that i can bring them home to recycle, people think i'm being "extra." the one time i brought home boxes from work to recycle bc my workplace doesn't recycle (even though they use so many boxes), my dad made negative comments
people say that one straw, one piece of plastic doesn't matter but to the one turtle that dies from it, to the one bird that eats it, it does. people who think that one person or one act makes no difference are the problem. people like to say that straws are barely any plastic & we use more plastic w other products but if you add up every straw you've ever used in your life, that's a lot. if you think about every sheet of paper that you never recycled, it's a lot. & that's just for YOU. so multiply that by all the people in the world who think it doesn't matter & it turns out to be a lot of waste
my sister's school district got rid of recycle bins. maybe it costs too much but WHY? how can they make recycling costs a problem more important than sustainability? & then some people say it's too much work to take the extra step to do these things. it really bothers me that people can think doing one little thing to try to help the environment is a burden, like we haven't been a burden to the earth for so many years?
we say "save the turtles" as a rallying method so that we can get people to CARE. people care about the cute turtles but not about the earth. it's about saving the turtles but it's also about saving all the other animals on this earth that die from everything that us humans do. it's about all of the animals' stomachs full of plastic, chemicals, cigarettes, etc. it's about the air that we breathe being polluted & our kids inhaling it. it's about the fact that companies make millions off of the things that are bad for us & we support them & we keep letting them & we don't regulate them enough
this is just a little rant that i've had growing in me bc i am surrounded by people who don't care, who waste & don't think about the repercussions, the consequences, & the effect it'll have on the earth. we depend on the earth, not the other way around. the earth was doing fine w/o us on it & it was better off that way. we love ignoring environmental problems & we go on twitter talking about cancelling toxic people, as if that'll make the world a better place. but WE'RE the ones that are toxic, for the earth
i don't care very much if i die in the next 12 years but i do care about the earth & about other people & about the children that have to grow up w these problems that WE created. & maybe you don't think you would make a difference, but DO IT ANYWAY bc at least then, you could say you tried
we all need to try. we all need to stop thinking of this as a burden & start being accountable for our actions & what we did to the earth. i don't believe that ONE post is going to do anything or change anything. but i hope it does. & that's the key. hoping that we all start getting some sense & try to lessen the damage before it's way too late
i'm not an "environmentalist" or a "vegan" (though props to them) but i'm trying to do at least SOMETHING. but i get laughed at for bringing out my bendy silicone straws when i go out to eat w my friends & every word i say about eating less meat goes in one ear & out the other. when i'm at church collecting the daily papers that kids leave around so that i can bring them home to recycle, people think i'm being "extra." the one time i brought home boxes from work to recycle bc my workplace doesn't recycle (even though they use so many boxes), my dad made negative comments
people say that one straw, one piece of plastic doesn't matter but to the one turtle that dies from it, to the one bird that eats it, it does. people who think that one person or one act makes no difference are the problem. people like to say that straws are barely any plastic & we use more plastic w other products but if you add up every straw you've ever used in your life, that's a lot. if you think about every sheet of paper that you never recycled, it's a lot. & that's just for YOU. so multiply that by all the people in the world who think it doesn't matter & it turns out to be a lot of waste
my sister's school district got rid of recycle bins. maybe it costs too much but WHY? how can they make recycling costs a problem more important than sustainability? & then some people say it's too much work to take the extra step to do these things. it really bothers me that people can think doing one little thing to try to help the environment is a burden, like we haven't been a burden to the earth for so many years?
we say "save the turtles" as a rallying method so that we can get people to CARE. people care about the cute turtles but not about the earth. it's about saving the turtles but it's also about saving all the other animals on this earth that die from everything that us humans do. it's about all of the animals' stomachs full of plastic, chemicals, cigarettes, etc. it's about the air that we breathe being polluted & our kids inhaling it. it's about the fact that companies make millions off of the things that are bad for us & we support them & we keep letting them & we don't regulate them enough
this is just a little rant that i've had growing in me bc i am surrounded by people who don't care, who waste & don't think about the repercussions, the consequences, & the effect it'll have on the earth. we depend on the earth, not the other way around. the earth was doing fine w/o us on it & it was better off that way. we love ignoring environmental problems & we go on twitter talking about cancelling toxic people, as if that'll make the world a better place. but WE'RE the ones that are toxic, for the earth
i don't care very much if i die in the next 12 years but i do care about the earth & about other people & about the children that have to grow up w these problems that WE created. & maybe you don't think you would make a difference, but DO IT ANYWAY bc at least then, you could say you tried
we all need to try. we all need to stop thinking of this as a burden & start being accountable for our actions & what we did to the earth. i don't believe that ONE post is going to do anything or change anything. but i hope it does. & that's the key. hoping that we all start getting some sense & try to lessen the damage before it's way too late
Sunday, May 5, 2019
museum adventures | Vincent van Gogh: His Life in Art
hey guys, it's been a while. i have been preoccupied w school & work & projects but it's finals week & i'm FREE. i had been DYING to go to the Vincent van Gogh: His Life in Art exhibit at the MFAH since i heard about it, but i decided to wait until after my classes were done, so that i could focus on them. but i'm done w them & i finally went to the exhibit!!!
i didn't really take many pictures of the exhibit itself, since it was pretty crowded when i went. i went w my friend daniel & we awkwardly shuffled around to look at Van Gogh's paintings & drawings while trying to not run into the crowds of senior citizens that were also there for the exhibit
real talk, the exhibit was okay i guess. there were some reproductions in the first room, a timeline of Van Gogh's works in the next few rooms but i had much more fun in the companion display: Van Gogh Up Close. it's like an interactive room for kids, families, etc. & there are set ups for photo-taking, for drawing, & more
daniel & i took some photos in the interactive spaces & drew some sunflowers in the art-making area
all in all, i had a blast. getting to see works of van Gogh that i had never seen before was great & inspiring & getting to go to Van Gogh up close was a terrific experience. going to the exhibit was a great way to kick-off my summer
Friday, May 3, 2019
Sunday, April 28, 2019
Monday, April 22, 2019
Tuesday, April 2, 2019
Friday, March 29, 2019
Thursday, March 7, 2019
Thursday, February 28, 2019
Sunday, February 24, 2019
Thursday, February 21, 2019
Wednesday, February 20, 2019
ever since i bought this baseball shirt, i had this outfit in my head & just needed a pair of white vans. well recently, i went to the mall & got myself some & i was very excited. however, i am dumb & i wore them to my silkscreen studio class. i figured it would be ok bc i wasn't going to be working w ink but i forgot that i would be working w screen filler (something that you shouldn't wear white around). by the end of the day i had little pink/red splatters on my brand new white shoes & i was very upset
i went home & tried to clean it off but no luck so i tried to bleach it. apparently i didn't dilute the bleach enough bc it yellowed/discolored my shoes & i was even more upset. so i found out how to get rid of most of the discoloration (baking soda + water) & while the screen filler spots aren't out, & the shoes might not be as white as they were, at least the discoloration is gone
moral of the story is that sam can't wear white shoes
 |
| long sleeve baseball shirt (thrifted) ripped jeans (hollister) The Kiss- Klimt art socks (amazon) white slip on vans (journeys) |
Sunday, February 17, 2019
Sunday, February 10, 2019
Saturday, February 9, 2019
Tuesday, February 5, 2019
A Seismic Shift in the 1990s: Democratic vs. Conceptual Design
- suggestion that average consumer could access design (democratic design)
 |
| IKEA poang chair, 1990s: $29 |
 |
| campana brothers, vermelha chair 1990s: $12,370 |
 |
| maskros lamp, assemble yourself |
 |
| aeron chair by don chadwick & bill stumpf, 1994 easily adjusted for variety of users unprecedented ergonomic research was very expensive when it came out "dotcom throne" |
- 1990s: fall of Berlin wall, Tiananmen square (crackdown on democracy), Nelson Mandela released, disillusion of USSR, exponential use of internet, etc.
- widespread democratization; target, ikea, crate & barrel became more ubiquitous
- making things more accessible to a wider spectrum of people
 |
| michael graves, architect designer contributed line of work to Target domestic products wheelchair bound--> more aware of ergonomics could create works that would be easier for those who needed |
- 1990s, target approached michael graves (starchitects- star architects- generally stayed away)
- Graves became household name in democratic design
- designers seen as fun & creating nice things, accessible; not unknowable, wild
- rise of star designers
- James Dyson:
 |
| target being inclusive & democractic |
 |
| mcqueen = avantgarde & wild yet still worked w target design trickling down to you & i |
 |
| advertisement, not elite fun industrial design products for all |
 |
| logo has become their identity, don't need their name |
 |
| inclusive, societal change |
 |
| anna sui billboard in times square took it down & created limited edition handbag ($29.99) as to not contribute plastic to environment |
 |
| target is major sponsor of exhibitions at cooper hewitt, national design museum |
 |
| origins: 1943 major expansion cultivated notion of you as the consumer participating in design process ease of construction, affordability, ease of replacing |
 |
| "democratic design" exhibition in Germany bright, egalitarian (scandinavia w socialist government) |
 |
| around the time obama was president conflates image w the campaign |
 |
| backlash on the notion of disposable, throwing away furniture bc easily replaceable, thrown into environment |
 |
| design research, cambridge massachusetts --> crate & barrel, michigan added american flair & color in Scandinavian design |
 |
| crate & barrel in houston |
- products available at crate & barrel
-famous designer Karim Rashid worked w them to create affordable, modern, casual design
 |
| garbo- karim rashid, 1990s plastic garbage can sold it via italian manufacturing firm Umbra instant hit, allowing consumers to buy design on the cheap |
 |
| Oh! chair by karim rashid, 1990s low cost, $39.99 simple shell & snap on legs didn't cost a lot to ship, lightweight |
- consumption- threatening or liberating?
-accumulating things
-putting things into environment
-what does the rise in distribution & availability really do?
- gijs baaker & renny ramakers: droog design
-criteria was flexible, some works were mass produced, some were statements
-got rid of tyranny of 1980s black & chrome, corporate design
 |
| marcel wanders, knotted chair, 1996 familiar, purity, hand craftsmanship combination of high (tech- epoxy resin) & low (references macrame) |
 |
| rage chair- tejo remy, 1990s acquired chair of what we discard simple, readily available materials |
 |
| you can't lay down your memories- tejo remy 1990s statement on excess consumption critique of the glut of objects at the market place "each drawer carries its own memories... you have to remember what you put into each drawer" |
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| milk bottle lamp- tejo remy milk crates references to dutch national identity |
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| 85 lamps- rody graumans power out of inferiority |
 |
| soft urn- hella jongerius traditional in form vases (associate w tangible & firm objects) made of squishy material subverts expectations via materials vase hides nothing, the traces of its making is still there scratches, bubbles, molding joints still visible shows inferiority & imperfection |
- ikea approached her about vases, she reproduced them in ceramic & sold at affordable price
 |
| drawing table |
 |
| lace table- marcel wanders 1997 epoxy resin |
- 1990s rise in phenomena of star architect & designer
-names used as marketing tools, added value
- Philippe Stark
 |
| child's toy |
- Jasper Morrison
- Alberto M.
- Campana Brothers
 |
| favela (slum) chair doesn't look comfortable, not comfortable to live in a favela |
- Karim Rashid
 |
| worldly designer artist |
- "the strength of designer culture... the popular idea that designers wield magic wands... reached a peak in the 1990s" --> retreat, some designers became more quiet & lowkey
 |
| muji design becomes widespread in late 80s/90s produce design that counters western world consumption wants to be more simple, lowkey, humble, subtly of traditional japanese design ego-less products w/o association w famous designer names designers design anonymously, w/o name associated out of packaging, you won't even know that the design is muji |
 |
| exquisite & understated packaging design |
 |
| white, simple, quiet |
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